Mellenkahlee
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Sunday, July 10, 2005
Nostalgiac Stars... Zort from URL @ 12:30 AM Oh wow, I didnt think i'd get this Emo, weird, sad/depressed, or akward just by going back and reading old emails and stuff. I remember every sight feeling I've had since I turned 15. I remember how I wanted to kill myself. I remember WHY I wanted to kill myself. I remember how girls lost their cooties. I remember falling in lust, falling in like, and finally falling in love. I remember close to everything I ever said to her. I remember that thanksgiving when I spilled my guts. I remember being shot down like so many turkeys the following thanksgiving. I remember butting in where I wasn't wanted or needed, and messing something up for her. I remember every "Oh hi Timmy, I thought it was somebody else. I was waiting for their call". I remember everything. I remember being passionate for God. I remember being passionate for her and her honor. I remeber all those things I fought for and lost. I remember the heartache, do I EVER remember the heartache. Hmm, forgot about her. lol. I remember thinking that it was all lost. I remember getting it back, and then losing it for good. I remember... that which I can't type, because it hurts a little too much to fully recall for you. =/ Ohhhh ouch that one hurts, I wish I could forget it. I wish more than anything that I never said anything, that I said goodbye before I said hello, that I never said "I love you" and thereby falling into a hole I cannot get out of, and that I never heard about her. But I did, I have, I will, and I still love. I guess... I guess I can't live without all of what I've just written down. I felt all that, and most of it hurt... But it hurt so good. ::!~ Trying to Smile ~!::
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