Mellenkahlee
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Friday, June 13, 2003
Zort from URL @ 10:20 AM Welcome, losers, and gentlefreaks, to the one man show. Hello blog, I've been sitting aroud the house letting my mind wander. I thought maybe I'd be able to think now that im writing, but I see I was wrong. Still blank. I got a new steel pyramid armband about a week ago. Renee bought it for me. A car saw me wearing it and decided I didnt need to live so it charged straight at me. Now get this, I was on the sidewalk... How does this kinds stuff happen? Anyway, It goes right for me, and the only thing i can think is "thank you God." now last time I checked when a car heads for you, youre supposed to reakout, life flashes bbefore your eyes, see a white light, that kinda thingie. But did I? Noooo, I just thought how much of a relief it would be to go right then. Theres something wrong with me buddy, something very wrong. So yeah, there my minds a bit clearer now. Gosh my job sucks! i'm gonna get audited today, and i'm really not ready for it. argh. I'll be sitting around all day, trying to figure out why I'm being fired. and gosh my finger hurts! I dont know why it does either. its like an intense itch. I talked to jen a couple night ago. about her life and how its going... I never seem to be able to help my friends. It's the only thing i wanna be able to do, and I cant. I wanted to be there just to hug her and tell her it was all gonna be okay, but all that came out of my mouth was, "Its okay.." followed by me sniffing up a tear. I dont do well helping others with words, or brains. It's not my strong suit. I'm more of a gentle giant. If someone has a problem, I like to be able to hug them and tell them its all good. And that at least I care, even if nobody else does. But i cant even hug the girl that... lemme rephrase that. my delete button is broken, so anything i type stays on screen. When the girl that, when she feels down, I'd like to be able to hug her, and I cant cuz Im a thousand miles away from everything I've ever wanted. Bah OK Timmy, watch It. no delete button means easy on the loose talk. I just want to be able to scoop her up and let her know that the world isnt as cruel, ugly, bizarre, mean, and disgusting as it seems when youre holding someone you truely care for. Care for more than anything. *slaps wrist* BAD TIMMY! ... Forgive me. you'll see that my trin of thought isnt as channeled as it seems to be when im on aim. it tends to wander like a buffalo. beefalo. sheepalo.... *sigh* like that. *Slams Head Into Post Button*
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